My family and I are back from vacation. I won't sit and brag about that because I'm sure my posts on Instagram were annoying enough. Haha! What I would like to quickly say is that I think vacation is an important part of life, even if it's close to home or even in your home, taking time off to reflect and let go of responsibility feels really necessary when you're staring down the huge task that is life itself. I feel rejuvenated and excited to tackle life and this thing my husband has been calling my "passion project" which I very much appreciate because it's so much more then a hobby, but not quite hitting job or career status yet. Writing my book is becoming my second job though, and eventually I would like it to be my only job.
In arriving home from vacation I prepared myself for the daunting task of editing my book. I got it back from my editor 2 days before we left and almost asked her to just keep it until I got back. I didn't know if I would ruin my own vacation by sitting and dwelling on it. I surprised myself by actually forgetting about it for most of the trip. It stayed in the back of my mind of course, as it always does, but I let go knowing that there would be plenty of time in my future, my right now, to sort it all out and I would be better able to do that if I actually let myself enjoy the time I had with my family in what has become my favorite place in the world. Time well spent.
So, now we are home. Now I have my book back, and after a little confusion my wonderful editor, who I want to give all the praise in the world to, sat me down in a video call to make sure I knew how to move forward and navigate the document that I wrote, but now looked completely foreign to me. I feel so incredibly lucky to have found her.
As I've sat reading and rereading all of her notes, picking at her edits (which she made really easy on me thus far) I've been thinking about what all of this really means?! What it is I'm really doing?! What am I doing? Why did I write it? What will come of it? Eventually it will be finished and I'll have something to give to the world, what then?
Really, what now?
After so much sunshine, and quite a bit of self reflection I've come home a new person. I have a new dedication to this sitting inside of me. It's no longer just a lengthy journal that I've been too intimidated by to share, now it's something so much different and as I read it with fresh eyes and fresh edits it's so much more breathtaking.
I wrote a book! I did that!
And now, well, now I get to decide how dedicated I am going to be to my own message and my own passion for the story inside of those pages. The life that I lived and can't let go of. I don't want to let go, and I don't have to, in fact now more then ever is the time to embrace it and share it.
Having the edits back, and sitting and seeing a polished version of the first few chapters has given me so much confidence in this passion project of mine. I want to do crazy things like live videos talking about it on YouTube, or create podcasts for my followers to listen to. I want to research all the ways in which to use my social media pages to my advantage and market myself. I want to write, write, and write some more. I want to dedicate my entire life to this, and find out more about the people sharing in this experience with me. I want to know what's going in their lives, the people who are being effected by the opioid epidemic right now. I want to be more involved in politics (*gasp*), and become a motivational speaker to be a voice for this horrendous problem in our country. I want to start groups, or create foundations... !!!
Soon I will be done with edits, and it will be edited some more, and maybe even more after that, but all too soon it will be finished, and really that's only the beginning.